Dinner at my house... when my mother isn't home...

Dinner at my house... when my mother isn't home...
Heres what goes down:
"Ok kids, you kind of have to fend for yourselves for dinner, i gotta run to the school."
So... there is pizza for chris and i (wheat free of course!)
So jess and i unwrap these delicious looking thin crusted, lightly cheesed pieces of crud and put them on the counter... we take out extra mozzarella cheese in order to 'spruce it up a bit'
Jessica proceeds with eating the mozzarella off the top of the pizza while i clean the mess and shove a handful of mozzarella in my mouth.... i almost puke....
"does this taste bad to you," i ask and i look a jess who then screams at the volume of a fright train...
"THERE'S MOLD!!!!"
Now at this point in our story, we are both spitting mozzarella out of our mouths, while our pieces of crud are being melted with moldy cheese in the toasty oven.
"OH NO!!!"
we grab the pizza's out of the oven and dump the moldy cheese into the bin.
So then all is calm... but we both feel like throwing up, so we eat peanut butter.
Then we start talking for like 30 minutes....
I look up at the oven... "CRUD CHECK THE PIZZA"
we throw open the door, and..
two burnt pieces of crap... i mean... really burned.
Jessica runs to the intercom and screams down to christopher
"THE DARN PIZZAS ARE BURNED!!"
"what???"
"THE DARN PIZZAS ARE BURNED!!!!!!"
"what???????"
so then chris and i try to eat the pizza (just the insides)....
shelby is meanwhile creating a little noodle bowl for herself, when she all of a sudden she screams
"NOOOOOO.... what happens when you don't put vegetable oil in the noodles"
i look over, she had managed to get all off the oil from the little pre-packaged pouch everywhere except her bowl..
So.. to make everyone feel better, we throw out the pizza, and get out the ice cream!!!
which now has melted everywhere, because i felt the need to type this..